A Poignant Question

I was talking to my boy the other day, as I am wont to do, and he posed what I thought was an interesting question. My response also somewhat surprised me, and so I feel it would make a good post.

He asked, I know you were always planning on doing a lot of traveling every weekend, but you seem to just be sticking in Santiago. Are you doing that cause it´s more comfortable?

I think the answer is yes and no. Of course visiting somewhere else is a nervewracking, especially for me when I can barely communicate. But honestly, I almost think it would be easier for me to go off by myself and be a hermitted tourist than to constantly go out and try to forge relationships with these people I´ve met. I consider myself a friendly person, but meeting new people is always hard, and you´re just never quite yourself. You try too hard, you come off as desperate. And when half the time they say things you don´t understand it´s even more nervewracking. If you are one of those people who always thinks others are talking about you, just don´t travel somewhere you don´t speak the language, it´s a whole new level of paranoia.

I feel one of the biggest reasons I came here was to see what it was like to forge a normal life in another country. Yes every city in the U.S. has it´s own culture, but it is all still American. I wanted to see how different it was to create an existence in a completely foreign place, even if it´s metropolitan like New York. And in order to do that, I have to really live in the city I´ve chosen. I could travel around and simply see the countryside, but I really wanted to live in it, so get a sense of the people. It is impossible not to get a skewed perception, for everyone creates their own bubble where they live. I had my bubble in New York, I for sure have my bubble here, but everyone does. That´s part of life. I just wanted to see if I could even get that bubble started somewhere else, without it popping and me failing miserably. So far I feel I´m really making a place for myself, and I wouldn´t call it a success, but it´s in the right direction. At the very least, I don´t feel I´ll ever be scared to move wherever the greatest chance awaits me, because I have confidence in my bubble-blowing skills. And of course the P&G network, :)